


I Don’t Want To Be Friends

by faithinthepoor



Series: Glee [14]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Theatricality</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don’t Want To Be Friends

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [I’m Not That Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640810), [It Sucks to be Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640836), [Kiss Me Goodbye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640850), [We All Have Sorrow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640862), [I’m Not Myself Lately](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640884), [I Ain’t the Worst You’ve Ever Seen](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640900), [I Know That I’ve Got Issues](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640908), [You’ll Never See What You’ve Done to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641365), [Everyone Must Stand Alone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641370), [I Should Be Happy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641377), [Every Now and Then I Fall Apart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641387), [I Wish That I Had Jesse’s Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641391) and [I Dreamed That God Would Be Forgiving](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641394)

Things have actually been going rather well lately. Of course her definition of well has changed somewhat but she is still willing to take what wins she can get. By her new, lowered-bar standards, she has been having some great moments. She got to go on a stealth mission with Rachel during which Rachel sat next to her and briefly held her hand. There was also the drama of Rachel finding her mother and while Quinn finds that slightly less important than getting to hold Rachel’s hand it still felt good to be there for a seminal moment in Rachel’s life. 

This week’s assignment hasn’t felt as forced as usual or maybe she was just pleased to have Mr Schue’s lack of awareness of current music highlighted to the world. Sometimes it’s the banal and petty things that make her happy. On that topic, as much as she adores Rachel, she was amused by the arrival of the human beanie baby creation. Rachel’s downcast eyes and humiliation were evident but somehow the monstrosity of couture failed to decrease Quinn’s attraction to Rachel. In fact Quinn thought Rachel looked rather cute. 

Nothing good lasts very long anymore and Puck had to come along and ruin things for her. She can handle it when he is wanting to name their baby after alcohol because that fits into her image of him as a Cro-Magnon with guns far larger than his brain. Having him be sensitive and thoughtful and truly thinking about what the baby would mean to him does not at all fit with her preconceptions and it makes her feel uneasy. Whatever Puck is, he should not be a boy with the power to make her cry. He doesn’t have that right - she doesn’t care about him enough for him to have that right.

Her Gaga outfit had made her feel like a sexy version of Glinda the good witch but sitting here now it seems totally ridiculous. The feathers attached to her lashes had seemed cool and fun but now they have become a trap for her tears, transforming them into soggy growths that stick to her face. 

The glee club seem to recognise that she needs to be alone with her pain, most of them are probably thinking that she is busy pining for Puck, but Schuester hovers in the room as though he feels she needs protection. He is so not her knight in shining armour and she does not want to have to breakdown in front of him again. She is saved from his delusions of helpfulness when Rachel moves down the stands to sit next to her. He nods at them and then leaves the room.

“What do you think that was about?” Rachel asks nervously. 

“I imagine that he thinks we are going to help one another deal with our mommy issues.”

“I don’t think we have the same issues.”

“Maybe he thinks you can offer me an unique perspective.”

“I didn’t really think you’d want to talk about that with me.”

“I’m not sure that I do.”

“I kind of want to talk about my problems if that’s ok?”

“Because I’m pregnant with a little girl I’m about to give away?” she asks with a heavy dose of bitterness.

“Because you are Quinn and I think you care about me.”

She really hates the way that Rachel continues to humble her, “I do care about you but I don’t know that I can be the person to talk about this with you.”

“Do you think it will make you fell bad? Like you might be throwing away something important? What if you are about to give away your own little Rachel Berry?”

“Given my feelings for you it would kinda creepy if I gave birth to a little Rachel Berry.”

“I guess it would.”

“Are you angry at her for giving you away?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Did you feel like something was missing in your life because you never knew you mom?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” raising her eyebrows drags the feathers up her face and the feeling is uncomfortable. She goes to remove them but finds that her hands are stopped by Rachel.

“Leave them. I like them.”

“They’re all sticky and gross now.”

“They’ll dry.”

“And probably become caked to my skin and difficult to remove.”

“If they do I’ll remove them for you, you big baby.”

Her heart flutters at the thought of Rachel touching her face, “Ok but seriously what do you mean you don’t know whether you felt like you were missing something or not?”

“I never had a mother so I don’t know any different. I did wonder what she was like but I had two parents who loved me so I am not sure that I missed out on anything.”

“Was it hard to not know where you came from?”

“I did wonder but it left the possibilities open. It meant I could be whatever I wanted to be. Also it meant that I could spend my time coming up with all sorts of theories about who my parents might be – I’ve had quite a few theories over the years. I have scrapbooked my favourites if you’d like to check them out.”

“No thanks,” she feels her mood lightening at the thought of Rachel compiling a book full of Tony award winning potential parents.

“You’re loss, it really is rather impressive, my creativity was evident from an early age.”

“I’m sure it was. If it helps. I know my parents and that hasn’t worked out all that well for me. At least you know that your dads love you.”

“In some ways I think it’s harder now I have met her.”

“It is?”

“I thought if I ever found her we would have this instant connection. That we would automatically be special to one another but it’s not like that. She’s like a stranger who happens to look like me and have my incredible talent but I don’t feel anything for her.”

There is a strange lump in her throat but she is not about to contemplate its meaning, “I don’t think I can hear this.”

“Do you want to know that I don’t hate her?”

“That does help a little.”

“So are you going to let Puck name the baby?”

They are still skating over ice that she doubts will support her weight, “At least Beth is better than any name he has come up with before. It’s also better than any of the ideas that Finn had.”

Rachel seems a little uncomfortable with the reminder of Quinn’s exs but Quinn refuses to analyse that reaction and Rachel manages to gather herself quickly, “Don’t you want to name her?” 

“I don’t think I that would be fair.”

“Of course it would be, you’re her mother.”

“Someone else is going to have that role and they are the one who is going to get to love her so they should be the one who names her.”

“Just so you know, in my mind you are totally calling her Rachel.”

“Have we not discussed how creepy that is?”

“I can’t see why we couldn’t have a daughter called Rachel.”

“So we are having children together now?”

Rachel blushes and looks away. “You never know what the future holds.”

“I guess you don’t.”

“You wouldn’t want a child like me anyway.”

“There could be worse things.”

“You really think that?” Rachel’s eyes are nearly bigger than her head.

“Well you know who you are and at least you haven’t been stupid enough to get yourself knocked up the first time you had sex.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Are you saying that you’ve never had sex?” Quinn hates the idea that other people are getting to kiss Rachel when she isn’t but it is nice to learn that at least they are not getting to have sex with her.

“Yeah. Wait a minute. Are you saying that you’re first time was with Puck?”

“Not the best introduction to sex.”

“It was that bad.”

“It had some rather dramatic and lasting consequences,” she pats her stomach.

“I always thought you loved Finn. Why did you sleep with Puck?”

“I have no good answer to that but I would have thought that you of all people would know that I didn’t really love Finn.”

“Because of me?”

“Yes because of you.”

“So you liked me that long?”

“I noticed you a while ago.”

“What did you notice?”

“I noticed that you were annoying.”

“Very funny.”

“I also noticed that you are different and that you really believe in things. I don’t know anyone like you.”

“I think my mother might be a lot like me.”

“So maybe I should date her.”

“Don’t you dare and besides that would be really, really creepy.”

“Maybe but it’s not like I can have you.”

“Says who?”

“Ah I imagine that your boyfriend Jesse might have something to say on the matter.”

“I guess he would,” Rachel sounds resigned.

“Rachel I’m here if you want me.”

“It isn’t that easy. I finally have things in my life that are normal. Things a girl like me doesn’t get to have and I’m not sure that I can give them up.”

“So you’d rather have what’s socially acceptable than what you want?”

“Do you think less of me for that?”

“No, not at all. I understand. Maybe I get to be brave nowadays cause I have nothing to lose.”

“And maybe if this was all happening back when I still had nothing to lose I wouldn’t be saying no.”

“I didn’t actually realise you are saying no,” her lip trembles but she will not allow herself to cry.

“I’m not sure that I am. I’m not sure of anything.”

“That’s ok we probably need to end this conversation anyway. It’s not all that comfortable sitting in this outfit.”

“You can just take it off.”

“I don’t really have all that much on underneath.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“A second ago you were saying no.”

“Hey just because I can’t touch doesn’t mean I don’t want to look.”

“See the problem is that I would want you to touch me,” she puts her hand of Rachel’s knee.

Rachel looks down at Quinn’s fingers and seems rather flustered, “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“Pity.”

“I know,” to Quinn’s surprise Rachel leans forward and places a kiss on the star below Quinn’s collarbone and then on her lips, “believe me I know. Right now I’ve got to go and work on my other mommy issue.”

Rachel basically sprints out of the room but Quinn feels strangely content. She spends most of the time feeling repulsive and it is really nice to know that Quinn Fabray still has it. Not only does she still have it, she is pretty sure that she still has a chance of getting Rachel Berry.


End file.
